2 The Yorkshire Pudding Club by Milly Johnson

Author:Milly Johnson [Johnson, Milly]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Tags: Fiction, General
ISBN: 9781847394835
Google: NeFdAAAAQBAJ
Amazon: B003UYUTGI
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2008-10-14T23:00:00+00:00

There was a hideously early phone call on Monday morning, which set Elizabeth’s heart boom-booming a little. No one phoned at this hour unless it was serious.

‘Hi, it’s me,’ said Janey, sounding out of breath, which made Elizabeth’s senses all switch to alert.

‘You all right? God, Janey, what’s up?’

‘No, I’m not,’ said Janey in some distress. ‘Look, I know you’re off to work but have you got one of those Just the Job paint charts handy that you gave us?’

‘Crikey, I thought you’d got your blood test back or something serious!’ said Elizabeth, annoyed with relief.

‘It is serious!’ said Janey. ‘Go and get it.’

‘I’m getting it,’ said Elizabeth, hunting in the odds and sods drawer. ‘Right, I’m back with you, and now what do I do with it?’

‘Bottom left, Brazilian Wonder.’

‘Got it. What about it?’

‘That’s what colour my nipples are.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake, Janey, I haven’t had my breakfast yet!’ said Elizabeth in despair.

‘I’m not joking, they used to be pink! I’ve just noticed them in the mirror. What colour are yours?’

‘Pink.’

‘What shade?’

‘Janey, I’m not comparing them to a paint chart! Oh flaming hell, hang on then.’ Elizabeth indulged her friend. ‘They haven’t got all that much darker…Cameo Rose.’

‘Where’s tha…Hang on–Cameo Rose–that’s still pink! I’m Brazilian Wonder and you’re Cameo Rose!’

‘I think they’re supposed to turn a bit browner, Janey.’

‘A bit! Will they go back to normal?’

‘I haven’t a clue,’ said Elizabeth, who hadn’t.

‘They look like holes through my bra! I don’t want dark brown nipples!’

‘Oh go to work, you sad mental bag! I’ll see you later,’ said Elizabeth and put the phone down. She’d tell Janey about the baby moving later, when she was compos mentis.

Janey was genuinely upset; she really did not want nipples that colour. She ripped off her bra and showed them to George, but he just went googly-eyed and it was obvious he didn’t care if they were Brazilian Wonder or sky-blue pink with yellow dots on. They looked fine to him and they felt even better. Janey was late for work, but lied and blamed the traffic.

Dirty old man, she thought with a smile as wide and juicy as a watermelon as she logged onto her computer, feeling totally energized for the hard day’s work ahead. Who needed stimulant drugs when you could have a George? Now that was true ecstasy.

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